Moms are weird

Moms are weird.

During Yui’s first days at the daycare, my heart weeps as I see Yui bawl with my goings and comings. Her Dad and I worried as her teacher wrote in Yui’s renraku note (the notebook wherein Yui’s teacher writes about Yui’s daily activities & condition & sleeping time and where I put the same for how Yui was at night and in the morning) that Yui didn’t eat much, cried a lot and didn’t sleep much as well. I worry.

And then yesterday, Yui’s teacher said that as usual when I left, Yui cried. But when she showed up (I left Yui to another teacher), Yui smiled at her and actually smiled many times that day. My heart twitches because Yui is now bonding up with one of her caretakers. But of course proud as well because as Hubs puts it, Yui’s friendly character is finally showing through.

And then today when I left my daughter in the daycare, she didn’t cry anymore. She doesn’t look particularly happy, in fact she looks sad. But she wasn’t crying, which is a big improvement. Probably there’ll come a time when the sight of her teachers would elicit a smile on her face. And I think any mother would understand the warring emotions I felt earlier/would feel in the future (for the smiling part) – the heartbreak that your child is becoming more independent from you and the happiness & pride because of her independence.

I chanced upon one of our Japanese wedding Ninong (godfather) earlier in the office elevator hall and told him of the different emotions with Yui’s independence. And with a laugh, he summarised: “if case A, you worry. If it’s case B and the opposite of case A, you still worry. Yes, yes. That’s how mothers are”.

And how right he is indeed.

Yet, there’s the glowing pride in seeing your child is coping well.

Grow well, anak.

a working mom now

In which today I’m finally a full pledged working mom.

Yui woke up early this morning in that after giving her milk, she drifted back to sleep again. And since I haven’t dressed her up yet for daycare clothes (she had a romper on while sleeping, which is not allowed in the daycare), I had to wait for as long as I can before I really had to wake her up. Even so, I was right on time in the daycare and in the office.

I’ve been on leave for 8 and half months and I sure miss work. It was good to see the people in the office. But it breaks my heart to see yui crying when I leave her in the daycare and when I arrive. I think it pricks my heart more when she cries the moment she sees me while having her arms stretched out towards me. Because it’s like she’s saying “Mommy where have you been? I’ve been looking for you. I missed you”.

My health wasn’t at its prime on my first day. My nasal allergies (and colds/cough!) had a lousy timing, choosing today in making a comeback. Still, am thankful I had the energy and alertness despite my allergies and had the strength to babywear Yui from her daycare to our house. And am thankful that Yui’s empathetic nature understood that Mommy wasn’t feeling well. That instead of asking to be carried around as she always want when it’s not bedtime, she was content (and indeed looked very happy) just snuggling up in bed.

And speaking of baby wearing, for as long as I can, I would baby wear Yui to and fro daycare centre. She’s already very heavy, yes (more than 9kg). But the precious moment of seeing up close how round-eyed happy she is is more than enough payment for the effort.

Haha, I couldn’t see some structure on this blogpost. But one thing for sure. When working, you really also pay attention to how you look. It’s not that you’re just pretending you’re not one harassed mom. But that rather, to show that you’re very happy with your choice and with the blessings that are given you. And yet again it’s not only that. It’s more like asserting your own being. Not only Marjorie the mom nor Marjorie the wife (or daughter or friend und so weiter) but Marjorie per se.

3 on 30

Many things to be thankful today!

Hubs and I are celebrating our second Church wedding day anniversary.
Always a joy to relive the wedding day memories and the preps
P
And today marks a momentous day for our daughter as today will be her nyuuenshiki (入園式)/kindergarten entrance ceremony albeit she’s still not in kindergarten. Suffice it to say I and hubs are so excited for her. This will sort of be my “launching” too to finally be oriented first hand about the Japanese education system. (Which reminds me I still haven’t written about the daycare orientation meeting we had a couple of weeks back).

Last but not least, today also marks the day that I’ll go back to work. It’s just on paper though as I still need to take some leave to consider Yui’s adjustment at the daycare. In a week, it’ll be my first day too!

And for all these blessings and excitement, thank you Po, Lord. 🙂

daycare preps

20130428-113336.jpg

Towels, gauzes, drawstring bags for Yui’s shoes and pajama set. And other stuff besides. I’ll be putting Yui’s name on these before handing it over to Yui’s nurse sensei.

It’s almost unbelievable that it’s actually already almost three decades when my own mother also put my name on my stuff for my first day in kindergarten. I remember being very proud seeing my name on my place mat and sleeping mat; could still remember the proud sense of ownership seeing my name on my stuff and that my classmates could see it too.

And now it’s my baby girl’s turn. She’s still very young though to feel the excitement for herself. But soon baby, you’ll get to understand and get excited too. For now, Mommy will try to document as much as she can.

baby diaries: sensitive

Usually bedtime is snuggle up time with you Yui. But this evening, right after bath, you already mellowed down. And after burping your last milk intake for the night, you readily went to sleep without Mommy having had the need to sing lullabies. Even while we were still having dinner and you waited for us in your high chair, you seem to notice Mom and Dad are busy. We had to prepare for Dad’s business trip, see.

Thank you Yui Moirraine for being sensitive. Mom and Dad are so thankful.

baby diaries: laughter

Oh how you love to laugh Moirraine. It seems like you wouldn’t let a day go by without laughing. And you surely initiate the laughter when you feel like having your daily laugh already.

Mom remembers that first time we went to Tokyo with Tita Me-an. You’re used to the attention you get with all our train seatmates. But our seatmate in that particular train ride looked so sad and wasn’t giving you any attention at all. So you know what you did? You almost jumped out of my arms and leaned towards the woman, giving her one of your brightest, biggest, cutest smile. The woman almost jumped out of her skin with your gesture, so surprised to receive such a sunny smile even without prompting you to. And of course Mom and Tita Me-an couldn’t help but laugh a loud laugh with what you did.

But what prompted this baby diary now? Because for today, you waited till bedtime to have your laughing time. Thing is, you were already in the brink of sleep. You were like this baby girl who wanted to play with her mom/dad but was too sleepy. But more so because you were laughing. Too bad Mom already dimmed the lights (and Mom’s phone was charging) so I couldn’t catch it on video. You would open your eyes a slit and give Mommy and Daddy a smile and when you close your eyes, you would laugh, laughter that had you shaking your belly. And these you did again and again.

Mom and Dad are happy baby because you’re happy. Keep the laughter with you baby as you grow.

baby diaries: independent, a little more each day

Aside from singing to you, Mom’s other favourite, Baby, when putting you to sleep is that you hold Mom’s fingers tight with your chubby little fists – be it when you sleep in my arms or on your crib by Mom’s bedside.

Mom noticed something from the other day though. When I hold you in my arms for you to sleep, your hand looks for a blanket or cloth to hold on to. And when you go to sleep lying in your crib, you just simply touch Mommy’s hand, preferring to put your small hand on top of mine rather than holding a finger.

Mommy was making a mental note to include in the daycare questionnaire how you prefer to hold Mommy’s hand while sleeping, so that your nurse can do it for you while Mom is away. It seems there’s no need for me to inform now.

My heart twitches, a bit heartbroken you’re starting to be independent. But Mom and Dad are proud too how our little Moirraine is growing a little more independent each day.

Love you baby. Grow well.

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries

%d bloggers like this: