on feminism and being a super woman

Atsushi’s mom, Okasan, visited us over the weekend, till Tuesday. Okasan is amazing as always with her energy and her cheerful countenance. What was remarkable with this visit was that because she extended her visit till Tuesday, we got the rare chance to have a good, healthy, full breakfast before going to work. And when we got back from work, we arrived at our home that was filled with the good smell of home cooking.

And so of course I am left to pondering how I’d fare as a mom-wife with a very demanding career.

I think of how Okasan prepared the breakfast table for us, and I imagine (and know) that she has done so, everyday, for her family for several decades already just before going to work albeit she’s blessed with a work that has a flexible schedule.

I think of serving breakfast for my husband and baby before going to work and then later on serve dinner after office and I realise how dearly I want to be able to do just that.

Now, some obtuse feminist might say “that’s not only what women are made for! Why can’t the husband do the serving/cooking?! Women shouldn’t be stereotyped as the ones who SHOULD wake up earlier so as to be able to cook for the family”.

But I don’t go with that kind of stereotype “feminism”. I rather strongly agree with Amanda Palmer’s definition on what a true feminist is: to do whatever she wants (click here for the very sensible article).
And I say, I want to cook for my husband and baby, take care of them, be the best wife-mom and have an amazing career on top of it.

How to do it though is another matter that has to be dissected. One main problem probably is that I am an insomniac. I have such a terrible insomnia that most of times, on the average, I only am able to sleep two hours after I went to bed. So if I had a long day at work, I’d only get to sleep at 2am or so. End result, I make up for the lack of sleep by waking up late just in time to get to office on time. No time to prepare breakfast at all.

Another main reason probably is that I’ve been doing this late-night-late-morning routine for 16 years now, ever since I left home for University. Sixteen years of habit that has to be undone.

However, as has been often said which we’ve already proven quite a number of times, it only takes 21 days to kickstart a habit. Throw in 30 days, if you want, for good measure. And so here’s to hoping that I’d get to start and end and keep going that planned 30-day habit of serving breakfast for my family especially now that soon we’ll have a little one who’s dependent on us for her survival.

Hmmm. Come to think of it. I can use those insomnia evenings to prepare breakfast.

As for the evenings and dinner, with the kind of environment we have at the office wherein we have to put in long hours to keep abreast, ofttimes I’m either already too tired to prepare a meal or it’s already very late that eating out is the better option.

So how to go about this evening dilemma? One could be to apply that don’t-work-for-more-than-40-hours-a-week-for-a-more-efficient-you philosophy. Although from experience, it’s hard to apply this at the office.

So what to do? The only option I can think of now is akin to what I usually do when deadlines are all stacked up: just do it. Quit thinking and fretting about it. JUST DO IT. And do your best while you’re at it.

For the mean time, I will just have to raise the white flag and give up the part about being a super wife at home and clean/cook always. With pregnancy and a demanding full time work, I think I already have more than enough on my plate. I guess for now I just have to make up to Hubs by being sweeter. 😀

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